Humorous jokes

1,Free

Deciding to do some back-yard landscaping, my father-in-law went to the brickyard to buy quantity of brick. When he asked the salesclerk about the cost, the man replied. “The more you buy, the cheaper they are.”

“‘is that so?” said my father-in-law.” Then just keep loading them on my truck until they’re free.

2,Sleeping Pills

Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.

Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: “I didn’t have a bit of trouble getting up this morning.”

“That’s fine,” roared the boss, “but where were you Monday and Tuesday?”

3,For the DogThe family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter.”My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate,” explained Father, “Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?”

“Gosh, Dad!” exclaimed the excited boy. “Have we got a dog then?”

4,Once upon a time,two mice were being chased by a cat,when the cat nearly had sucessfully caught them,the mother mouse standed out and said “Wang!Wang!” The cat was frightened and fled.Then the mother mouse told her son:now I think you have known how important it is to speak the language of dog.

5,Beware of Dog

As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, “Danger! Beware of dog!” posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. “Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” he asked the owner. “Yep, that’s him,” came the reply. The stranger couldn’t help but be amused. “That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?” “Because,” the owner explained, “Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!”

 

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